Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I know it is difficult for you, as it is for me, to be separated for so long. Life seems to be full of trials of this type which test our inner strength, and more importantly, our devotion and love for one another. After all, it is said that "True Love" is boundless and immeasurable and overcomes all forms of adversity. In truth, if it is genuine, it will grow stronger with each assault upon its existence.
Fir..., our love has been assaulted many times, and I am convinced that it is true because the longer I am away from you, the greater is my yearning to be with you again. I cherish any thought of you, prize any memory of you that rises from the depths of my mind, and live for the day when our physical separation will no longer be.
I've tried my best a thousand times to tell you what I want. I want you to be happy. Really happy. Independently happy. I want that because I love you, a concept I don't believe you've totally grasped. You see love in desperation and need. You think love can be measured by how much time two people want to spend together (every moment is ideal) and by who needs who the most........?????
I see love measured in deeds done and in being the best we can be for ourselves and each other.
There's no way you'll ever be strong with me in your life. Something about me makes you want to be weak, and therein lies our problem. I keep worrying that by cutting you out completely, I'll be burning the bridge I so desperately believe will one day lead us back to each other. I know that's not really true; I know that, given past experiences, nothing ever ends for real. Love never really dies all the way. Not in me, anyways. I love you and I believe that you'll do it; you'll open up... You'll stop letting your mom or your crappy friends define who you are. You'll be that most handsome, perfect man I fell in love with. If you don't... if you don't, I guess it wasn't meant to be.
Stay strong Fir.... If things get much worse between us, I'll be pushing further off yet. I don't see how they won't get worse, but, as always, I'll stick it out until it's too unbearable to deal with. If you hate me, you hate me. Maybe I deserve it for wanting you to be something you may not be.
Until that moment arrives, I send to you across the miles, my tender love, my warm embrace, and my most passionate kiss.
I love you and take care.